What Is Beauty?

We've all heard the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. It answers the question - What is beauty? I bet most of us have no idea what it really means. In simple terms it means that one person might think something is beautiful and another will think the opposite.

That will make no sense to some of us, because the media made us believe that beauty can only fit into one box. Honestly I had no idea what that saying meant, until I stopped seeing beauty as something the media portrayed and started seeing it as so much more.

So what is beauty?

For most of my life I believed that I was not beautiful. I had really bad skin, too skinny, too short and a weird personality. I think the main reason was because I look nothing like my family. The people that I’m closest to did not resemble me in any way.

No I’m not adopted or swapped at birth, well I hope not. I just came into this world different. The one that never fits in anywhere. It took me almost my whole life to realise that different can also be beautiful.

Once I started believing that I was not the lost ugly duckling, my outside reality changed. I got more compliments suddenly. I think it had to do with the fact that I felt more confident and people saw that.

I guess confidence is also beautiful. I still hate taking pics of myself, but I’m a work in progress and as long as I’m still working on slaying my demons, then I know I’ll be fine.

There are so many things that make a person beautiful. Someone that’s brave, strong or selfless is beautiful. The person that always has kind words and a smile for others to brighten their day, is beautiful.

Someone that’s smart, creative and uses their minds to make this world better, is beautiful. The ones that are different are the most beautiful, because most of them had to try to fit into a box that was not made for them.

The list can go on and on, but of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we all see beauty differently. For those who keep comparing themselves to others…Stop! You are never going to be that person. Ever!

God did not make a mistake when he created you. The things that you see as your imperfections can be beautiful to someone else. We all like different things. That’s a fact. The word ugly should not even exist. Erase it from your vocabulary.

Find the things that make you beautiful, while remembering beauty does not only exist on the outside but on the inside as well. Accept the things you see as imperfections as part of what makes you, you. They make you special and different. Different is beautiful.

Who wants to be like everybody else anyway, right? Only once you love yourself, then the words of others and their judgement won’t hurt you any more.

If someone insults you, then you can either choose to let it hurt you or you can say to yourself, “So what!, that is not the only thing that defines me. I have so many other amazing qualities”.

Don’t be defined by one thing. You’re a combination of many wonderful things that make you unique and beautiful. Reminding myself of the fact that I'm not just a face and a body, helped me see that beauty is so much more.

I consist of so many different things. I might not be perfect and that's ok. I no longer wish that I was someone else or think God made a mistake when he created me.

My hope for you, is to see your beauty and to be confident so that others can see it too. I hope that you can find beauty in this world in places where you never thought it would exist.

Lastly I hope that you will see the beauty in others by looking at everything they are and not just how they look on the outside.

Until next time,

Pic credit: Pixabay pic Renza edited.

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The Horrors of Dog Wash Day.

Woof! Hello guys! Today's topic is very serious. All over the world dogs have to endure the dreaded dog wash day. I get chills just thinking about it. The humans love it when we’re clean so they can cuddle and pet us.

We are the closest thing to a living stuffed animal, so cuddles and cleanliness is expected. Our natural scent is then replaced by those awful smelling shampoos or whatever they use to wash us with.

Mommy Renza is tricky. She says nothing then pretends that she wants to play with me, the next thing I know I have a leash around my neck and into the bath I go. You would think this business will go quick, but it takes forever. I just have to sit there while being manhandled for hours. No fun! Grrr!!

Dog wash day
Example of a dirty doggy

Here's some tips to get you through wash day...
  • Your human is going to catch you eventually so you might as well turn yourself in. The sooner you do, the sooner the nightmare will be over.
  • Hiding is still an option. So if you decide to choose this route, you need to be fast and have a good hiding spot. Goodluck! If you're successful, then pets everywhere will know you as the one who dodged wash day. Hail to you, oh great one...
  • Renza gives me treats and talks to me while I'm being washed. It makes me feel better. Hopefully your human does the same and does not treat you like you're laundry.
  • Try sitting or standing still. The longer you fight it, the longer it will take.
  • Remember it's only water. It will not hurt you.
  • Try not to lick any part of you during or after the wash. I know it's tempting, please don't.
  • Shake it out. Make sure you're close to your human when you shake yourself out. Renza hates it when I shake and make her wet. That will teach her! Grrr!!
  • When you're finally dry and smell like yuk, try not to go roll in the sand. If you're dirty again, they will wash you again. No one likes repeats.
  • Now you're ready for cuddles. I know you love this part so don't deny it. 

dog shaking after dog bath.
Shake like this!
I know it's no fun guys, but if we want more cuddles then we need to be clean. Renza keeps outsmarting me, then I try to outsmart her again and it's a vicious cycle that never ends. So it's best to behave and get it over with.

I hope doggies and kitty cats everywhere will have a less stressful wash day. Hopefully no human will get hurt in the process. Grrr!!

For the humans, please be patient with your pets. Give them a little break during the wash process. Make sure you give them a yummy treat, pet them and talk to them to reassure them everything will be ok. 

Until next time
Woof!! Woooof!!

Pic credit: Pixabay images Renza edited.

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What Are The Five Love Languages.

I'm no expert on the love topic, but I love researching things and finding out how things work. So of course when I wanted to know all about love, I came across the 5 love languages. What are the five love languages and why are they so important when it comes to love?

Know that we all have a primary and secondary one. Here they are.

1. Acts of service - Actions speaks louder than words.

2. Receiving gifts - It does not mean that this person is materialistic. They love thoughtful gifts that they can treasure.

3. Words of affirmation - Being complimented, hearing words like "I miss you" and being praised for something they did.

4. Physical touch -  Giving hugs etc.

5. Quality time - Making time for someone and giving them your undivided attention.

Your love language is how you show love and how you expect others to show you love, even if you're not aware of it. Most are not.

Just by looking at that list I knew acts of service was my primary and words of affirmation was my secondary love language. I took the love language test a year ago and it was confirmed.

I always felt awkward when people gave me gifts, hugged me or if they were always in my space. I love doing things for the people in my life and complimenting them.

So to my surprise, something changed. I took the test again yesterday, after a year has passed or maybe longer. Then the results showed that quality time was my primary love language and I scored equal on words of affirmation and acts of service.

I just stared at the results and thought no way. Introvert over here! Then I looked back at the past year and realised it's actually true.

Since I gave up my job I've had more time for the people in my life. Before, long conversations and spending time with my family was a no no. I was always working, tired and in a permanent bad mood.

I've grown a lot closer to my family and I actually love spending quality time with them. That means these love language can shift, depending on the changes you go through in your life. For example a new mom will suddenly have an acts of service primary love language because she is overwhelmed.

People speak different love languages and there can sometimes be a huge communication gap. I know who the gift givers and the huggers are in my life and because it's awkward for me, I don't hug them randomly or give them stuff.

They're probably thinking I don't care about them as much. My compliments and doing things for them are seen as just random things I do. Oh and not forgetting the quality time thing, that I'm still trying to process...

It can be really difficult to speak someone else's love language if it's something different to your own. Imagine how that conversation will go down with a family member if I tell them doing things for me and complimenting me are my love languages. They will think I drank crazy juice!

It's my thing and not theirs. It's hard for someone to grasp and to suddenly fall in line and speak your language.

In romantic relationships it might be easier to let your significant other know this is how they should show you love and you need to know how to love them. It's easier because there's more at stake and romantic love forms a bond that's like a drug and we'll do anything to keep it, so we'll fall in line.

You can even guess what someone in your life's love language is, by looking at what they do the most, what they complain that you don't do enough of or what they keep requesting you to do.

It will sound like, "You never buy me anything nice", or "Why don't you ever help me around the house"  or "You're always working". Yes! They're crying out loud for you to show them love and it just sounds like they are complaining.

If you can't tell what your primary love language is just by looking at the list above, then you can take the test at the Love language quiz website. Gary Chapman wrote the book. Yep! There's a book or books. Here's the book link.

Remember just because someone prefers one language over the others does not mean you don't have to show love with the other four. It just means the primary one will be used a lot more than the others.

I hope you will apply these love languages to your relationships. I'm definitely going to try my best even if it's a bit awkward for me. It seems like common knowledge, but it's tricky because we all prefer different things.

Remember this applies to all your relationships. That includes relationships with your children, other family members, friends and your significant other. It will make your relationships with the people in your life stronger. You'll feel much closer to them and understand each other better.

The bonds with the people in our lives are important. We should not take them for granted. No man is an island. We need others to help us through this life.

It is also important that you know how you are meant to be loved, some of us don't even know. We love and we give and give and we wonder why they don't love us back, but they just show it in their own way.

Until next time,

Pic credit: Pixabay pics Renza edited.

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7 Survival Tips When Your Human Is Cookoo

Woof! Hello guys! So mommy Renza finally caved thanks to all the humans that liked my last post (Writers block) about the topics I wanted to write about. Thank you guys for convincing her. Woof!

It’s hard being a pet in today’s world. Mostly because it's run by humans or at least they think they run the world. To survive you need some special skills, especially those pets that have a crazy human.

I’m so sorry you guys, I feel your annoyance for them. I love my Renza, but sometimes...Grrr!! Here are some survival tips when your human is cookoo.
1. Ignore - When they start with the crazy talk, just look in another direction. Don’t make eye contact! Their feelings will be hurt, but they need to learn you are not a baby.

Buffy pretending to sleep
Me pretending to sleep

2. Garbage bin raid - This is when they throw away those delicious scraps like yummy bones that we’re not suppose to eat, because apparently a dog with a bone saying is total nonsense.

You either need to wait until they're distracted or pretend that you’re sleeping so that they don’t pay much attention to you, then go on a garbage bin raid. The garbage will be in the kitchen until the end of the day.

Once they take the garbage out to the big bin outside, then you will have to wait until the next day. So make it count! Be very quiet. It’s all about stealth here. Get the bone or whatever scraps you find in the bin and get out!

3. Hiding - Be good at hiding. Go under the human’s car or bed. It will be hard for them to get you out of there. One more thing you guys, please don’t fall for the food trick. That's when they bribe you with food so that you can come out of your hiding spot. I fell for that one in the beginning. Never again! Grrr!

4. Toy hostage exchange - If your human hides your toys, then as soon as they take the toys out again, go and hide them in a safe place. It’s yours, not theirs. Treat it like a hostage exchange. You do something for them, if they do something for you.

First make sure they take the toy out of its hiding spot. A good way to get them to take the toys out, is for you to start chewing on random things around the house. That way they’ll give you your toys back and in return you don’t destroy their stuff.
5. Staring at the human and being cute - If you want to get away with what they call 'bad behaviour', you need to be super cute. Go rub against them and lick them. Stare into their eyes if you must. I find staring into Renza’s eyes super effective. Apparently these humans become suckers when we stare at them.
6. Speed - You need to be very fast. Make sure you practice everyday to improve your agility. Chase birds or whatever is smaller than you. It will keep you fit and you’ll be fast enough to escape if the human wants to wash or groom you. Speed is also important when you raid the bins and when you need to keep them from taking your stuff. I’m faster then mommy. It's really funny how she can’t catch me.
7. Learn their language - It's important to understand what your human is saying. When I hear the words water, leash, shampoo, wash and brush then I go hide. Renza whispers, but I have superior hearing. So keep your ears open!
I hope these survival tips are helpful. These humans are easy to control, so don't forget how powerful you are. Mommy Renza is on to me, you guys. She says I’m a mind reader and I make her act crazy. I just stare into her eyes, and then she forgets.

Woof!! Woof!!

Author: Buffy
Job: Guard dog, part-time blogger
Likes: Playing,eating and sleeping
Dislikes: Grooming

Pic credit: Renza's pics she edited.

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10 reasons why getting older is not so bad

Today I’m another year older. I’ve always hated birthdays. Please don’t ask me how old I am. Luckily I look like a teenager and some people still ask me “How’s school?”. Lol. Yep. I’m not kidding. So even if my age does not show, I still hate getting older.

Before I start falling into a negative spiral (that’s when something you perceive as negative grows into a big negativity monster that’s hard to kill and its all downhill from there), I decided to think about some positive things about getting older. This practice of listing positive things about a perceived negative situation will help a lot to put things in perspective. Here’s my list!

3. I’m wiser – Getting older and becoming wiser goes hand in hand. My younger self was clueless about how life works and made so many mistakes.

2. I’m happier – I’m happier than I was, because I took control of my happiness and my life. Before I just felt powerless. Now I know not to just accept things the way they are.

3. I’m not so shy anymore – As I got older, I grew less shy. I became more outspoken, confident and my low self esteem issues are non existent. Not sure what happened, but I’m not complaining. Good riddance!

4. I’m funnier – I’ve always had a wild imagination. Well that’s what happens if you’re an introvert and in your head a lot. With that came a crazy sense of humour, that unfortunately could not surface because of my shyness. People in my life tell me I’m silly.  I’m just happy that part of me surfaced, because my whole life I felt it screaming to get out. I also learnt to laugh at myself and life. Some things aren’t so bad when you look at them as funny.

5. I’m smarter – Not that I was never smart. I’ve always excelled at academics. Yes, I can say that, because I worked hard at it. The reason why I say I’m smarter is because I make a point of learning something new every day. Younger me placed herself into a box and did not question everything. Older me questions everything and I’m constantly learning. Knowledge is power. I think everyone should go through this life like that. To be curious and gain as much knowledge as they can about everything. It also helps the brain to stay active.

6. I’m more responsible and less stressed – I make more responsible decisions in my life and I see the bigger picture. I plan ahead and that way I feel more in control. I'm less stressed and I don't get sick at all any more. My younger self was constantly stressed over things she had no control over and was clueless about how to deal with it. My stress lead to a lot of health issues. So less stress equals a healthier older me. 

7. I’m more compassionate and empathetic – I’ve experienced a lot of pain in my life, but the upside of that is that I feel more compassion and empathy towards others. I just want to build others up when their down, because I needed that a lot in my life.  

8. I found my life’s purpose – I think a small part of me always knew that inspiring and motivating others is my life’s purpose. Why else would God give me so much to overcome? My younger self could never imagine or attempt to inspire. My older self knows that’s what I was meant to do.

9. I’m more comfortable in my own skin – I stopped wondering what others thought of me. My younger self was obsessed with what people thought of her and if they would accept her. It was exhausting! Let them talk if they want. I laugh at my awful fashion sense and my equally awful hairstyles that just don’t want to fall in place. Also I hate wearing makeup. It’s way too much effort. Oh is that the reason why I’m still single, lol. Uhm...I love my plain look! It’s their problem, not mine. Beauty fades. I want someone to like me for my personality, not my looks.

10. I know what I want – You can only know what you want once you know what you don’t want. Getting older and gaining more life experience is the only way to find out what you don’t want and what you do want. My younger self always felt lost and stumbled through life.
So there’s my list. I actually feel much better about getting older now. It’s not so bad after all. For those who hate getting older, make your own list or borrow from mine. I’m sure most of you can relate to the points I made. You can share what else you think is positive about getting older. I’ll appreciate your thoughts.

Until next time,

Pic credit: Pixabay pics Renza edited.

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Writer's Block

Woof! Hello humans! I have no idea what to write about today. I have a serious case of doggy writer's block. Well if all your ideas are shot down, you'll feel the exact same way!

Mommy Renza keeps saying no to all my ideas. Seriously guys, I need some creative freedom. Here's a few ideas I pitched to her and all I got was a big fat NO! I swear that's the only word she knows.

1. Dog and cat fighting rings - I'm sure that's a thing, you guys. Why else would they say fight like cat and dog? Huh? I'm sure with a bit of research we can find out where I can fight a cat. Grrr!

2. Five best places to hide on wash day - Doggies out there will definitely benefit from this one.

3. Effective ways to beg for table scraps - C'mon, I've perfected begging for food.

4. Ways to be cute and get away with anything - Another talent of mine that I need to share.

5. Survival tips if your human is cookoo  - There's some crazy pet owners out there. I have one!

6. How to guard your human - This one is important for doggies to learn. We have to guard our food supplier.

7. How to greet other dogs and making a good first impression - Uhm ok guys I don't have the best track record for greeting other dogs. I chased a few small ones around the neighbourhood. Well who told them to run. I just wanted to play. Woof!

I'm sure none of these topics have been covered before. Or have they? Hmm. I'll have to up my 'cute and get away with anything' game with Renza. I'm sure she'll cave.

The food supplier is like putty in my paws. I just stare at her. Then she's like "What?" and then the crazy talk starts "Oh my sweetie babaloe". Putty you guys and uhm mental.

Writers block happens when you feel restricted and want everything to be perfect. Mommy is a perfectionist. That's why she says no to all my ideas.

I say, just write whatever you want to write about. No rules, restrictions or wondering what others will think. No one is going to see that first draft anyway, right?

You can see what comes out of your unrestricted creative mind and just edit the hell out of it afterwards. Happy writing humans. Hope you get over your writer's block soon.

Woof! Wooooof!

Author: Buffy
Job: Guard dog, part-time blogger
Likes: Playing and hanging out with Renza, eating and sleeping
Dislikes: Grooming and visitors with long coats

Pic credit: Pixabay pics Renza edited.

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10 Important Lessons About Love I've Learned.

Love comes in so many different forms. The love for family, friends, God, pets and the one type of love that has eluded me almost my entire life...romantic love. Sure I fell in love a few times in my life. There were even a few lessons about love I've learned.

Unfortunately my experience with love will never make the pages of a romance novel. I remember reading my first romance novel when I was younger and wishing someone could love me like that.

Reality did not match the books. The guys in my reality always seem to run away. One just wanted to spend time with his friends and cut our dates short, another wanted to know me when it was convenient for him and the list goes on and on.

I was never the beautiful one that had guys lined up waiting to go out with me. I wore glasses, had really bad acne, was way too skinny and to top it off I had a weird personality to add to the mix. So no, they were not lining up.

Since then the acne cleared up, I got Lasik for my eyes, because I was tired of being referred to as the girl with glasses and I gained enough weight to actually look nice in clothes.

I basically changed my whole appearance just to get noticed. It sucked feeling invisible and I hated that no one ever chose me.

The few times that I got some attention, I made the mistake of being with the guy just because I liked the attention. Then I noticed if I liked the guy, I became insanely jealous. Like I owned him, and he was never even mine.

I realised it’s better to be alone for now. I needed to learn to love myself first before I could let anyone else in. Here are the lessons I've learned about love.

1. Love magnifies your insecurities 

When you fall in love, what no one says out loud is that every insecurity you have about yourself will surface and it will be magnified.

If you have abandonment issues, you'll become clingy and needy. If you are unhappy with yourself, you'll become jealous because you'll think you can easily be replaced.

Yes, it feels amazing to fall in love. Suddenly you're insanely happy, everything is beautiful and you feel completely out of control.

Love can also fill a void and that's where we set ourselves up for future pain. If that love goes away for some reason, that void will make you feel like you're dying a very slow painful death.

2. Initial attraction fades

When that initial attraction fades and yes it will fade, then reality sets in. This is the point where you see each other clearly. It's also at this point where most relationships end.

It takes hard work if you continue with the relationship after that initial attraction. It can feel like you're loosing your identity and you need to sacrifice a lot. Suddenly there's this other person and it's not just all about you any more.

You have to give, give and give some more. Just make sure you're not the only one giving. If the other person just takes, takes and takes, then get out.

3. Don't drag out a doomed relationship 

For those who refuse to end a relationship for the fear of hurting the other person...Guess what?! You're not doing anyone any favors. Be honest, end it and move on.

The one you're breaking up with will be free to find someone else instead of wishing everyday that you loved them more. Believe me they can feel it when you're not all in.

4. Not everyone matches

What got me through my breakups was realising that not everyone fits. Everyone has different beliefs, values, tastes and if you're lucky you'll find your perfect match.

At that point you need to take a step back and look through reality glasses, not through fantasy love glasses. Yes, breakups hurt like hell.

Time heals all wounds and your pain will go away over time. Guys I thought I'd die without, I'm not even thinking about anymore. Some things just aren't meant to be.

5. Failed love can heal past wounds

Falling for someone and loosing that love can make you see yourself clearly and it's an opportunity to start healing from your past.

Those of you who are in the same relationship over and over again...you know who you are. You always find yourself in the same sucky relationship that always sucks. Different person, same dynamic.

It should be a wake-up call that something in your life needs healing. You'll attract people that reflect how you see yourself. I attracted guys that made me feel like nothing, because I believed that about myself.

6. Get over your jealousy

If you are jealous and possessive in relationships, stop comparing yourself to others. God gave us all amazing unique qualities. Know your worth.

There's only one you in this world and someone fell in love with everything that you are. Do not insult them by being jealous.

7. Learn to love yourself first

Some of us don't even know or love ourselves first before we let someone else in. It's important to know yourself and whatever issues you may have.

Loving yourself will attract someone that adds to your life and love you the way you love yourself. It will also allow you to communicate your wants and needs better. Meaning you won't settle for less.

8. Be honest with yourself

When a relationship ends, sometimes we don't understand why that person left. Be honest with yourself.

Was it really perfect? Were you compatible or did you just imagine a happily ever after before knowing who that person really is and before knowing who you really are.

Be honest about what you want out of a relationship, instead of settling because you're scared of being alone.

9. Know what you want

With all my failed relationships, I know exactly what I don’t want now. I want someone that makes me a priority (so thank you ex first boyfriend for not making me a priority).

I want someone to be proud that I’m in his life and not only want to know me when it’s convenient (thank you other so-called ex boyfriend for hiding me from your friends).

I want someone that understands me, makes me laugh and who is there for me no matter what. Someone that helps me grow and motivates me to do and be better. (thank you my dear best friend for setting a really high standard that will be hard for other guys to follow).

10. Share your feelings

Yes, we’re just best friends. We also have monthaversaries every month on the 16th because that's the day we met.

He calls it mushy day and it might sound weird, but I told him I don't want to be one of those people that looses someone just because I never told them how much they mean to me.

Sharing how you feel about someone is not that easy. Especially not for someone like me that has been rejected over and over again. But I was given a second chance at this life and time seems to be moving fast.

That's why we have mushy day every month. Guess we just feel lucky that we've found each other. It’s the best relationship I never had. Yep, love comes in many different forms.

My hope for those out there is that you learn to love yourselves if you don't. I hope you find someone that appreciates you and can see your beauty inside and out.

I hope you find someone that respects you, understands you and loves you like you're meant to be loved. Lastly, I hope that you don’t settle for less than what you truly deserve.

Until next time

Pic credit: Pixabay pics Renza edited.

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