Do We Teach Others How To Treat Us?

Do We Teach Others How To Treat Us
Our words are more powerful than we can imagine. A compliment can make someone's day and a rude insult can make someone feel a lot of pain.

Yes, the power of words can be extremely effective in controlling how someone feels.

Growing up, I did not have the perfect childhood. I looked and acted differently. That left me open to a lot of teasing. I was an easy target.

It was only later on in my life when I became aware that we teach others how to treat us.

As I got older I wanted people to like me, so I was super nice to everyone and agreed with whatever they said and wanted.

That meant I had no voice of my own and people could just walk all over me.

They could say whatever they wanted to me because they thought it was okay. Why wouldn't they right? I never corrected them and said "No, that hurts me" or "No, you are wrong".

Finding my voice


One day, while watching TV I heard someone say, "Teach people how to treat you". That simple phrase made a huge difference in my life.

In its simplicity, it made so much sense. From that moment on I decided to teach people how to treat me.

Whenever somebody said or did something hurtful, I told them how it made me feel. I no longer agreed with whatever someone said or did just because I was afraid of that person not liking me anymore.

I finally found my voice and became more assertive. Some people, unfortunately, don't like when you challenge them. Others are more open to change.

I learned that you can't really change people. Don't even try. That's an uphill battle you're never going to win.

Speak up when someone treats you badly


If someone is not treating you the way you are meant to be treated, then you need to tell them. Speak up!

They either need to adjust and realize they are treating you badly or you need to distance yourself from them and surround yourself with people that respect you.

How others treat you is a reflection of them. But also the things you allowed. Take control. Demand respect!

The funny thing is some people have no idea that they are hurting you. They think their words and actions are normal. I'll admit I'm guilty of that sometimes too.

I would say something and not even realize that I'm hurting that person. But it's something that can easily be fixed if you get to know someone better.

Setting boundaries on how people treat you


People are not mind-readers. You need to tell them what you don't like. We all have boundaries. Limitations or a line we expect people not to cross. Let people know when they have gone too far.

Yes, sometimes it can be good to hear something that you can work on to improve yourself, but if it's turned into a shame game then its wrong.

We all move at our own pace through this life. People need positive reinforcement, not negative.

This is also how most relationships are damaged. Sometimes people have no idea how to communicate with each other.

They don't tell the other person when they have crossed a line because they are scared of losing them.

They quietly resent that person and all along the other person is clueless about what's going on. It's okay to let them know.

If someone truly loves you they'll do what makes you happy. They may surprise you and your relationship with that person might change for the better.

Think before you speak


We need to stop and think before we comment on someone’s appearance or anything that might seem personal. One person might be okay with it, another not.

People want to be complimented and feel like they belong. They want to be heard and understood.

Go and give someone a compliment today. Tell someone they look nice or that they have done a great job.

Focus on their good qualities and let them know how awesome you think they are. Remember your words are powerful.

Use them to teach people how to treat you and treat people the way you want to be treated.

Until next time,
Goodbye.

Pic credit: Pixabay pics Renza edited.

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5 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading your article

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  2. Well said. But there are certain relationships who cannot take no for an answer because they simply think we are disrespecting them, especially the aged people.I am learning ignoring is the only way.

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    1. Yes Soraja. I know exactly what you mean. I live with my granny and grandpa, Both over 90!. Really stubborn, but wonderful people. In that case its probably fine just to let it slide. They are from a different generation. Depending on the situation, I'll say my peace,so that I can get it out of my system. After that I just don't bring up the topic again. But everyone and every situation is different. Depends on what you and they can handle.

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  3. Great message Lorenza! I'm still learning to speak up for myself and I'm in my 40's! Everyday is a chance to be better though so I'm a work in progress. Thanks for this powerful reminder that I'm responsible for how I let people treat me. Loved this.

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  4. Thanks Diane. You'll get there. We all are works in progress. Everyday we learn how to navigate this life better.

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