Dog Table Manners - Fluffy's Tips on How to Eat Properly

Dog Table Manners - How to Eat Properly Ruff! Hello, my fluffy pack! As your future queen, I've had to learn how to eat properly. Dog table manners go hand in hand with queendom.

I can tell you now already that Buffy did not teach me eating skills. He eats like an animal! You'd think since domestication that our species would have been more civilized by now, but nope.

Snowy also eats like Buffy so I'm assuming it's an epidemic. Humans aren't too worried about eating properly either. Food falling on the floor is proof of this.

Let's look at how you can improve your eating skills.

Basic dining etiquette for dogs

1. Chew your food

You'd think this one is obvious but it's not. Buffy swallows his food whole. I wish I was kidding.

Mommy has to mince his food like a baby or else it gets stuck in his throat. How hard is it to chew? Geez!

Teeth are not just for threatening the human, it's used for chewing food too. Use it!

2. Take breaks between mouthfuls

I know it's tempting to eat all your food up without stopping but it's a bad idea. Mommy has to make sure Buffy doesn't choke because of swallowing too much food at once.

It's the only time he gets yelled at. Mr. Cant-do-wrong has bad eating habits. Finally a skill I can teach him!

Buffy eating Fluffy's food
Buffy eating my food in front of me
Taking a breather is advisable. I take my time and eat slowly. Renza mommy says I eat like a lady. I'm a Queen! Get the title right human!

3. Eat up all your food

Leaving leftovers is a big no-no. Well with one exception. If it's that dried junk mommy gives us then you can leave leftovers.

That's the only food Buffy chews so we get a lot of it. A lot! This is why point nr. 1 is so important.

If you don't chew, the human will give you more dried food because it's not as yummy and they know you'll chew it so that it goes down easier.

This spiral effect must be avoided. If you find yourself in a situation where you've been getting just dried food then don't worry. Just go on a food strike.

I've been on a few strikes so I know how effective they are in getting what you want.

A food strike is where you have to refuse to eat.

I know it's hard but it's worth it. When the human starts wondering why you're not eating, all your favorite dishes will suddenly appear out of nowhere.

It depends on you if you're willing to hold out for the good stuff. Humans are slow and lazy. You might have to wait a while.

4. Bowls are optional

Look! Personally, I can eat food off anything. The ground, mommy's hand, a chair, a mat. Anything! Bowls aren't necessary.

Fluffy discussing empty food bowl
Discussing empty bowl with mommy

Unfortunately, the humans prefer bowl eating so it's something that's expected of us. Luckily I only listen sometimes or else floor food will get wasted.

We all know to waste food is a doggy sin. The 5-second rule does not exist!

5. Smell before eating

Not everything is yummy or eatable. I've done some extensive taste testing of everything around here.

It's normally followed by mommy screaming, chasing me and forcing my mouth open. It's not my fault that things are just lying around.

In my defense, I'm still learning and very curious. Anyway, I know now that I have to smell first then eat.

Mommy also taught me the swop trick where I trade her for whatever I have in my mouth. Normally with something better smelling.

6. Begging for food

Dogs are really good at begging for food. All it takes is sad eyes and staring at the human until they cave. Believe me, they will cave eventually.

This only works if you're in close proximity to the human when they're eating. They will try to distance themselves from you because they are weak.

dogs begging for food
Buffy's expert sad eyes look
Your job is to get their attention by doing something they don't like. They'll come to check up on you and yell a bit. Soon after, the weaklings will feel guilty and you'll be stuck by their side.

Let the begging begin!

7. Should you bin raid?

Sometimes food goes from the human's plate straight into the garbage bin. Why? I wish I knew. The horror!

Leftovers are supposed to go straight into a dog's mouth. We were made to consume leftovers.

In case a mixup like this occurs then bin raiding is an option to correct the mistake. Buffy
is a professional bin raider but refuses to teach me his garbage eating dog skills. The nerve!

Don't worry! As long as I'm right behind him while he tips the bin over, then I get to enjoy yummy garbage food too.

What?! Geez! We're dogs. This is what we do.

That's it my fluffy pack. I hope you don't eat like Buffy. Remember the worse you eat, the worse the eatables will get.

Food is what makes us doggies happy. Got to go now. I see Buffy trying to eat my dried junk food. Excuse me while I go yell at him!

Ruff! Ruff!

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Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy work, part-time blogger, a world leader in training.
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting hands, destroying everything in sight, playing, stalking, digging, cuddles and tummy rubs.
Dislikes: Baths, self-cloning Needleman and not getting my way.

Dog Table Manners - Fluffy's Tips on How to Eat Properly.

Pic credit: Fluffy(me) and Buffy posing for pics Renza took and edited. Main pic from Pixabay.

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