Dog Table Manners - Fluffy's Tips on How to Eat Properly


Dog Table Manners - How to Eat Properly
Ruff! Hello, my fluffy pack! As your future queen, I've had to learn how to eat properly. Dog table manners go hand in hand with queendom.

I can tell you now already that Buffy did not teach me eating skills. He eats like an animal! You'd think since domestication that our species would have been more civilized by now, but nope. 


Snowy also eats like Buffy so I'm assuming it's an epidemic. Humans aren't too worried about eating properly either. Food falling on the floor is proof of this.


Let's look at how you can improve your eating skills.

Basic dining etiquette for dogs


1. Chew your food


You'd think this one is obvious but it's not. Buffy swallows his food whole. I wish I was kidding.

Mommy has to mince his food like a baby or else it gets stuck in his throat. How hard is it to chew? Geez!


Teeth are not just for threatening the human, it's used for chewing food too. Use it!



2. Take breaks between mouthfuls


I know it's tempting to eat all your food up without stopping but it's a bad idea. Mommy has to make sure Buffy doesn't choke because of swallowing too much food at once. 


It's the only time he gets yelled at. Mr. Cant-do-wrong has bad eating habits. Finally a skill I can teach him!



Buffy eating Fluffy's food
Buffy eating my food in front of me

Taking a breather is advisable. I take my time and eat slowly.  Renza mommy says I eat like a lady. I'm a Queen! Get the title right human!


3. Eat up all your food


Leaving leftovers is a big no-no. Well with one exception. If it's that dried junk mommy gives us then you can leave leftovers.


That's the only food Buffy chews so we get a lot of it. A lot! This is why point nr. 1 is so important. 


If you don't chew, the human will give you more dried food because it's not as yummy and they know you'll chew it so that it goes down easier.


This spiral effect must be avoided. If you find yourself in a situation where you've been getting just dried food then don't worry.  Just go on a food strike.


I've been on a few strikes so I know how effective they are in getting what you want.

A food strike is where you have to refuse to eat. 

I know it's hard but it's worth it.  When the human starts wondering why you're not eating, all your favorite dishes will suddenly appear out of nowhere.


It depends on you if you're willing to hold out for the good stuff. Humans are slow and lazy. You might have to wait a while.


4. Bowls are optional


Look! Personally, I can eat food off anything. The ground, mommy's hand, a chair, a mat. Anything! Bowls aren't necessary.



Fluffy discussing empty food bowl
Discussing empty bowl with mommy

Unfortunately, the humans prefer bowl eating so it's something that's expected of us. Luckily I only listen sometimes or else floor food will get wasted.

We all know to waste food is a doggy sin. The 5-second rule does not exist!



5. Smell before eating


Not everything is yummy or eatable. I've done some extensive taste testing of everything around here.

It's normally followed by mommy screaming, chasing me and forcing my mouth open. It's not my fault that things are just lying around. 


In my defense, I'm still learning and very curious. Anyway, I know now that I have to smell first then eat.


Mommy also taught me the swop trick where I trade her for whatever I have in my mouth. Normally with something better smelling.



6. Begging for food


Dogs are really good at begging for food. All it takes is sad eyes and staring at the human until they cave. Believe me, they will cave eventually. 

This only works if you're in close proximity to the human when they're eating. They will try to distance themselves from you because they are weak. 

dogs begging for food
Buffy's expert sad eyes look
Your job is to get their attention by doing something they don't like. They'll come to check up on you and yell a bit. Soon after, the weaklings will feel guilty and you'll be stuck by their side.

Let the begging begin!

7. Should you bin raid?


Sometimes food goes from the human's plate straight into the garbage bin. Why? I wish I knew. The horror!


Leftovers are supposed to go straight into a dog's mouth. We were made to consume leftovers.


In case a mixup like this occurs then bin raiding is an option to correct the mistake. Buffy
is a professional bin raider but refuses to teach me his garbage eating dog skills. The nerve!


Don't worry! As long as I'm right behind him while he tips the bin over, then I get to enjoy yummy garbage food too.


What?! Geez! We're dogs. This is what we do.


That's it my fluffy pack. I hope you don't eat like Buffy. Remember the worse you eat, the worse the eatables will get.


Food is what makes us doggies happy. Got to go now. I see Buffy trying to eat my dried junk food. Excuse me while I go yell at him!


Ruff! Ruff!



Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy work, part-time blogger, a world leader in training.
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting hands, destroying everything in sight, playing, stalking, digging, cuddles and tummy rubs.
Dislikes: Baths, self-cloning Needleman and not getting my way.

Pic credit: Fluffy(me) and Buffy posing for pics Renza took and edited. Main pic from Pixabay.

Never miss a blog post by Joining the fluffy pack for updates you guys. Please share if you think your friends will enjoy reading my Dog Table Manners - Fluffy's Tips on How to Eat Properly post. Thank you! Ruff!

Cute dog stuff (Affiliate links - scroll right).

8 comments:

  1. Fluffy makes good points! We should all use manner while eating and show good behavior in general. He should pursue world domination as soon as possible with all the messes happening in the world today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruff! Hi Jeanette! Thank you for your support! I'll make sure you don't end up on the dreaded Fluffy island once I rule. :-)

      Delete
  2. LOL - love this, my dog could certainly use a refresher course in manners

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruff! Hi Amber! It was my pleasure teaching doggies eating skills. Greetings to your dog from the fluffy pack! :-)

      Delete
  3. I always spent my half an hour to read this web
    site's posts all the time along with a cup of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruff! Thank you! Glad you enjoy our blog human! :-)

      Delete
  4. Hi, its been a long time. Glad you are still doing this!!!
    ~Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Paul! Lol! Yep still doing this. I'm not writing that much but the blog's traffic has increased because I've been focused more on improving views and working on some side projects. My focus is a bit scattered but as long as I'm keeping busy I'm ok. Buff and Fluff still has lots of stories although I don't. But I'll try to incorporate my voice in dog stuff. Hope you're doing well. Thanks for still reading! :-)

      Delete

Hello! Thank you for reading our blog. We appreciate all your comments. I'll moderate first, but always reply back. Thank you from Buffy, Fluffy and Renza :-) ♥♥♥