Fluffy The Puppy's 10 Dog Rules For Humans

Fluffy The Puppy's 10 Dog Rules For Humans
Ruff-ruff!! Hello humans! Since my last post 10 steps to world domination, I've been thinking about what's next after you all become my loyal followers.

As your future world leader or like I prefer to be called Queen Fluffy, I wanted to set some dog rules for humans and lay down the law.

Every leader needs rules or else the followers will be like wandering sheep. There won't be too many changes.

Note if you are caught not following my rules, there will be consequences. You'll be taken to a special island and we'll mind-wipe you and upload what's necessary for you to be more compliant.

The pets and other animals will let me know if and when you step out of line.

Fluffy The Puppy's 10 Dog Rules For The Humans


1. Work hours


Your work day will only be 7 hours long. Over that then you're disobeying me. No working on Sundays and special public holidays.

You get one other day off in the week. That means you have a 5 day work week. I could make it less, but then nothing will get done.


2. Fluffy tune-up


Each day around 5 pm you will tune into the Fluffy channel where I will give you a tune-up. The mind control needs to be updated now and again.

Puppy's 10 Dog Rules For  Humans
Followers tuning into Fluffy channel

3. Play with your pets


At least an hour a day will be spent playing with your pets. Another 30 minutes to an hour for training if your pet does not know the basic obedience commands. No excuses!

Kids will have an extra subject Pets 101 in school where they will learn to train and take care of pets. It starts at a young age. I see some adults need training too.

4. Eat with your pets


The pets eat with you. If they don't, I'll know. Not that dried junk mommy always feeds me. Yummy food or else.

5. Illegal to breed


Breeding pets will be illegal. You'll need permission from me and I'll only authorize it if there's a pet shortage.

Fluffy's 10 Dog Rules For  Humans.


6. Everyone must have a pet


Every household is required to have at least one pet. More than one is better if you have the patience.

I understand some personalities prefer cats over dogs and vise versa. You choose. Pets in shelters will automatically be matched to a human to take care of them.

My human will write the software application that matches a pet to a suitable human. Her programming skills are a bit rusty, but that's nothing a little bit of yelling at her won't fix.

The pet will be delivered to your doorstep and both of you will be escorted to Fluffy island immediately for training and bonding exercises. The excuse of "I have a busy lifestyle" will no longer be applicable because of shorter work hours.

If you are allergic to pets we'll test you for allergies on different breeds. Don't worry! We'll find you a hairless pet if we must.

7. No killing pets


Killing or hurting a pet is illegal and you will be labeled a murderer. The three-headed monster will deal with you. They are in charge of 'special clean-up'.

There's a black one that looks like a hell-hound. There will be no mind-wipe for you sorry. Mr. Hell-hound is waiting for you.

8. Clean up


I like a clean world. Those humans who don't have jobs will help with clean-up. Those who litter and pollute will be sent for mind-wiping and reprogramming.

9. End war


All wars and crime will end immediately. You know the drill! Try anything and the animals will deal with you.

Know when I say animals, I mean all the animals. I'm sure we can get the birds, insects and everyone in the oceans to join forces and team up. Go ahead! Be scared! Grrr...

10. Be happy


I'll make sure everyone is happy. If you're not, to Fluffy island you go.

There it is! All you have to do is follow my rules and there won't be any trouble. See, I just want to make this world better.

A doggie sees all the evil and wants to eliminate it. We are bringers of joy. So get on board humans!

Ruff-ruff!!!

Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy stuff, part-time blogger
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting feet, hands, destroying everything in sight and cuddles
Dislikes: Baths, being picked up and self-cloning Needleman

Pic credit: Renza human took pics of me and edited. Mixed with a Pixabay image.

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14 comments:

  1. Fluffy you REALLY know how to lay down the paw (um, LAW!!!) I think if you came to my house you would arrest my Mom! Barks and licks and love, Dakota DakotasDen

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    Replies
    1. Ruff! Your mom might get special treatment because of you and Cody the cat. No promises though. Licks from me and bro Buff.

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  2. Tough cookie that new Queen! Does she ever relax the rules in exchange for extra treats?;-)

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    Replies
    1. Uhm she might be bribed with treats Kirstie. But it's more like a keep them coming thing. If the treats stop coming then your toast!

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  3. Replies
    1. Oh a loyal follower! Licks for you Scribbling Geek. Ruff!!

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  4. Fluffy you really know how to lay down the paw on the land. Lmao. I really enjoyed reading this.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Sandy! Fluffy is busy barking at the neighbours now, but I'll let her know you enjoyed reading her rules.Thanks for stopping by :-)

      Delete
  5. Sounds great, mate!
    So many households these days are a waste of space, just by living their empty lives with no dogs! It is unacceptable!
    As a rebellious labrador with an attitude I completely agree with you.
    Luckily my own humans do obey most of your rules.
    Regards
    Shaun The Blogrador

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruff! Hey Shaun dog! Empty lives is how I would describe it too. Soon they will have no choice. It's the choosing part we need to remove. I'm glad you see it my way. Us doggies need to stick together!!!
      - Fluffy the puppy

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  6. These are good rules! We have to also do something about the evil people that catch cats and dogs and put them in a truck and take them away. In my city they call them Animal Control. The hold the captured pets in pet jail till the owners come and pay ransom money for them - Very evil people!! I suppose it may fall under rule #7. Off to Fluffy Island with them!!!

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    1. Ruff! Yes Paul. I'll ship them to Fluffy island. They will get a mindwipe and much needed cuddles from the fluffy clones. Well if the clones are anything like me then I fear there is little to no hope for them. Grrr!!

      Delete
    2. Ruff! Yes Paul. I'll ship them to Fluffy island. They will get a mindwipe and much needed cuddles from the fluffy clones. Well if the clones are anything like me then I fear there is little to no hope for them. Grrr!!

      Delete
    3. Ruff! Yes Paul. I'll ship them to Fluffy island. They will get a mindwipe and much needed cuddles from the fluffy clones. Well if the clones are anything like me then I fear there is little to no hope for them. Grrr!!

      Delete

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