Fluffy's Human Manipulation Techniques

Fluffy's Human Manipulation Techniques
Ruff! Hello, my fluffy pack. As you all may know by now, I'm a master manipulator. 

Manipulating humans is a natural skill that most dogs have, but unfortunately, a few are clueless on how to control their human.

Humans are meant to be controlled by us. They are weak and the doggies are cute. 

The cute controls the weak. That's a universal law or something!

Some humans aren't easy to break, but with enough work and time, a dog can turn them into putty. 

As always, I've made a list of some human manipulation techniques for those doggies still learning the trade.

How Dogs can Manipulate People


1. Maintain eye contact


Those who don't know, eye contact is how dogs bond with their human. The human might be really busy and staring contests will be the last thing on their mind.

Don't stop trying to get their attention. Eat their favorite shoes if you must or go nibble on their ankles.

Sure you'll get yelled at, but guess what? Yelling requires eye contact! People want you to know that you were wrong and will look you straight in the eyes to make sure you get the message.

This is where you have your chance. Stare at the human, head tilt a bit, sad eyes and maybe throw in a hanging tongue to be safe. This works I tell you!

2. Don't come when called


This tip is the opposite of the first one but just as effective. Buffy does this one well. When the human sees you and tries to strike up a conversation, run away and hide in your favorite spot. Humans hate being ignored by us.

dogs are master manipulators
Buffy hiding to get attention

They'll come running after you. Soon you'll be covered in yummy treats and one step closer to becoming a master manipulator. Leave me, alone human! Come close only with treats!

3. Be extra weird and cute


Cuteness is not just about how you look. It's about how you act and the things you can do. Do you know any tricks or do stuff that's unique to you.

I have my own fluffy dance and I learn fast. Buffy makes weird sounds when he plays and has 10 or more different barking sounds.

I don't hide, I run in circles till the human feels sick. Skills! There are a lot more things we do that make us weird and cute that mommy loves. Every dog has their thing so use it!

4. Rub against the human with your fur


When I rub against mommy I automatically get cuddles. Being soft and furry means the human will pet you.

Some humans don't like touching dogs, but that just means you need to work harder at manipulating them. Everyone has a breaking point.

Just ask mommy. She went from not being able to pet doggies at all to being an annoying human that just wants to play with our fur. All day long! Really annoying Renza!

5. Be super happy to see them


Most humans are miserable. Even mommy. She says a dark cloud follows her everywhere. Stuck with doing life stuff and it seems like an uphill battle most of the time.

But then we came along, things started looking up. Not every day is sunshine and roses but when we show mommy how happy we are to see her, she becomes putty in our paws because we make her happy.


Fluffy Dog loves human

Make sure you give your human what they want most. That's normally having someone at home that's happy to see them every day. Without the talking parts of course!

6. Be grateful for the yummy food


When you get food or treats, act super excited. Jump really high and bark their ears off. 

Buffy looks straight into mommy's eyes and barks really loud to show he's grateful for food. I then jump on Buffy and start pulling his ears.

What?! I show my excitement by nibbling and dancing!

Don't guard your food either. Some doggies are ungrateful and growl at their human in order to protect food. Dur! They provide food, you act happy, the food comes in avalanches.

Humans love repeating things they see others like. I hate my dried pallet dog food and get excited only for the yummy homemade stuff and treats.

You'd think Renza would stop with the dried junk, but apparently Buffy likes it. Now I get half dried mixed with cooked and eat everything up to show I'm grateful. Yum, yums!


My Dog Fluffy's Human Manipulation Techniques
Negotiating with human

There you go, my fluffies! I hope you've learned some valuable manipulation tactics to help you get everything your doggie heart desires. Remember humans are weaklings. It's time to take control! 

Got to go now. Mommy Renza forgot to give me a yummy treat today so I have to go destroy a shoe or something. Hey! I don't make up the rules

Ruff! Ruff!

Author: Fluffy
Job: Doing puppy work, part-time blogger, a world leader in training.
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting hands, destroying everything in sight, playing, stalking, digging, cuddles and tummy rubs.
Dislikes: Baths, self-cloning Needleman and not getting my way.

Fluffy's Human Manipulation Techniques

Pic credit: Fluffy(me) and Buffy posing for pics Renza took and edited. Main pic from Pixabay.

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